remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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