i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
