alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We left the knife in your bed.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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