Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
