apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
