Ambien. No doubt about it.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
