That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
