It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
