Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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