Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
