Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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