Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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