sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
