I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
