Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
