so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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