ugly people sure do ruin things
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
