Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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