Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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