I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
