my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
