Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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