Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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