She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
