im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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