Sry I called you an 8
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
