ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We left an ass print on the piano.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
