Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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