She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
