She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
