I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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