is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
