I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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