So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
