You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
