I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
