he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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