if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
