he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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