I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
