Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
