I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
