This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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