you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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