You're completely useless in the revolution.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
