How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
