dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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