He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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