If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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