if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
