The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
