Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
