And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
